have you ever been on the shore of a beach
and noticed amongst the sand
amongst the seashells
the remains of a hermit crab?
the shell still comes from the sea
but I don’t think we classify it as a seashell
as those seem to be reserved for that of a clam or mussel

speaking of mussel
my muscles are weak these days
I am both a shell without the mussel
and a shell that’s coiled

both come from the volume of matter from the depths of the sea
and are brought up to the surface

I fear that I will only be noticed after I am gone
but will always be one shell that is hopefully in tact
for a bystander to recognize
amongst its eroded counterparts transformed to sand

is that a quantifiable representation of God’s promises
of His regard towards man?
is it towards all of mankind
to ever exist
or are those thoughts towards each of us respectively?
I wonder

I am seen,
but I seem to be forgotten
His eye is on me
but so is the stranger’s
I’m like a fish being kept alive past its time

I want to go in peace

what is the purpose of hope
when a word doesn’t come to pass?
how long does one wait,
or do you change the vision?

it wasn’t mine to begin with
what is the problem in delivering it up?

I don’t ask for anything anymore

all I want is to be covered
if what I think I need is not being provided for
then I don’t want to possess
I will lay them to rest

I would go into the wilderness if you let me
maybe there I won’t be a burden

I don’t mind bearing burdens
and hope another would reciprocate
but what do I do
when the burden is me?
who should carry me?
should I be carried?
I only have seen that happen at a funeral

why is it wrong to kill my flesh
when I can’t kill my soul?
when does it become wisdom,
if it isn’t?

You know my nature more than I
but I know enough
that I should not be around anyone right now
lest I sin against them

you can call it a cheat code
I call it sacrifice
I’d give up what I’d desire
for not falling into sin